I hope...

I hope they remember fondly the struggle I've been through learning how to be a mama.  How it keeps me up at night.  How it's pushed me to love deeper and more true.  How I'm still struggling to embrace the shadows and the stillness when it's paired with mayhem and the mundane.  The oscillations are hard and fast and the pull is strong.   

I hope I'm getting something right.  I hope they remember how I tried so hard and failed so hard and kept trying again and again.  I hope they remember me fondly.  I hope.